There are people you are born with. People you have never not known – the ones who have always existed for you like your family. And then there are some who find you or perhaps you do. Following a trail of breadcrumbs like Hansel and Gretel to a house made up of candy. Now here is where the story changes: the house does not have a witch, but rather warmth and happiness and your heart. There is a home which has always existed for you whether you like it or not. And then there is a home you make for yourself: your friends.
Friendships are complex and they also are really not. Like day and night, things change. One second, the friend group is small and young, sitting at the back of the class, passing along chits, laughing at things only they find funny. And the next second, they graduate. Years in between feel like sand slipping through loose fingers. When it is ending we do not recall the ups and downs. We recall the laughter, the inside jokes, the glowing orb of warmth in our chests which lasted long after the hangout was over, and the comfort of knowing you would not stay hungry at a hangout because your friend had your back. Not the uncomfortable silence which stretched out for far too long because neither of them was willing to speak. Not the unsent messages or the unease.
Friendships are complex and they also are really not. Like day and night, things change. One second, the friend group is small and young, sitting at the back of the class, passing along chits, laughing at things only they find funny. And the next second, they graduate. Years in between feel like sand slipping through loose fingers. When it is ending we do not recall the ups and downs. We recall the laughter, the inside jokes, the glowing orb of warmth in our chests which lasted long after the hangout was over, and the comfort of knowing you would not stay hungry at a hangout because your friend had your back. Not the uncomfortable silence which stretched out for far too long because neither of them was willing to speak. Not the unsent messages or the unease.
That being said, everything in this world has, and should have, limits. Here, the idea of “not owing anybody anything” comes into play. At the end of the day, the only person we are stuck with for the rest of our lives is our own self. Therefore, if a friendship is extremely draining or makes you sit up straight every time they walk into a room, it is time to let go. Walking barefoot on piles of burning coals for a person is really not worth it when the audience does not want to attend the show. In order for a friendship, or any relationship, to work, there must be understanding. You must know your friends like the blood in your veins or the soul in your body. And even if you do not, know them like you know the sky. Even if it is far, we still admire it and work with it. Not everything has to be soul-binding. Some things work like the sun and our moon.