Pakistan is experiencing significant transformations through the emergence of alternative gender roles. With women now engaging in the workforce, developing their voices, and attempting to break into society, men are still generally expected to participate in traditional masculine modes.
It is no wonder that young males in Pakistan feel torn between these two realities; young males receive mixed messages regarding what kind of masculine identity they should develop (whether to represent themselves as tough, stoic, and dominant or to show emotional sensitivity, support, and equality). Although expectations regarding masculinity are evolving for young males, no one has taught them how they please need to change.
The Burden of “Being a Man”
All boys learn at an early age that they are not allowed to express their sadness through crying or openly display other emotions like fear or vulnerability. Instead, they learn to express strength through the exercise of control only and view emotional expressions such as tears as an indication of weakness.
Many boys learn to suppress their emotional expressions by being told phrases such as “mard ko dard nahi hota” (i.e., “men do not feel pain”). As a result, young boys have a long history of developing habits of suppressing their ability to express feelings, causing many adult men significant difficulty in expressing even the most basic forms of emotions (sadness/happiness).
The heavy expectations imposed on men by society to provide for their families financially and be protectors and to maintain authority create a significant burden for many males. Often, when men are unable to meet the expectations of their societies, they will become increasingly embarrassed and uncertain about who they are as males.
Shifting Duties Confusing Responsibilities
Life today shifts how men see themselves. Not tied down like years ago, women now stand on their own. Schools open to them, choices widen, and presence grows in shared spaces.
This change shakes up old views on being male. When a man isn’t the only one bringing income, who is he now? Shared control makes people wonder, what grounds him anymore?
Lost thoughts often stay quiet, even when they matter most. Without words to name the feeling, confusion grows instead of clarity. Change arrives quietly, no manual included.
The Fear of Vulnerability
Sharing feelings feels dangerous to some. Guys stress over how they might look: maybe laughable, maybe broken, sometimes just not enough.
Silence grows where fear takes root. Alone becomes the path, even in struggle. Isolation tightens its grip, slowly. Mental health fades, piece by piece, along with how one sees themselves. Well-being frays at the edges, quietly.
Yet showing vulnerability does not mean being weak. Truth lives inside it instead. When shared, space opens up, others step closer, see more clearly, and change happens. Still, for plenty of men, that thought sits strange, like a door never tried.
Creating Space for Change
Starting tough talks is how shifts begin. When homes, classrooms, or screens step up, things shift. Feelings? Totally regular for boys, too. A space where speaking up doesn’t bring shame matters.
Some guys find relief just by speaking without filters. Real connection happens when chats dive deeper than laughs. A moment of truth between friends changes things quietly. Talking straight isn’t common, but it matters.
People need to understand mental health better. Getting support can show strength, sometimes even courage, instead of weakness. A quiet shift in attitude makes space for honesty.
Moving Forward
Pakistan’s idea of manhood isn’t shattered, just squeezed by shifting times. Change pushes against old shapes, tugging at edges once thought fixed.
It’s not young males causing trouble. What’s missing is direction. Moving through demands that feel outdated, they find themselves unprepared, no roadmap handed down, no clear way forward.
Strength does not vanish when emotion shows up. What if being tough meant owning vulnerability, too? A man might carry courage without hiding pain. Instead of losing power, he gains depth by feeling fully. This shift keeps resolve alive while making room for honesty. Not less of a man, more of one.
It is after that moment when progress begins — steady, clear, without hesitation. Clarity takes hold instead of doubt.