When the mere mention of rape is considered taboo and immoral rather than the act itself, it creates the shallow image of a culture that thrives on denial, patriarchy and the silence of its agents. Most women are harassed, catcalled or exposed to conditions without their consent before even reaching the age of puberty. These cases often go unnoticed or unreported because of the shame and embarrassment that this culture teaches us to carry with us surrounding issues involving sex. Parents are more worried about preserving their reputation rather than confronting abuse. This frames sexual violence as a systemic issue rather than an individual one. Every unreported case is not just a statistical loss but a testimony to how deeply shame has been institutionalised.
Beyond the act itself lies a network of problems that reinforce one another. The first problem is the easy access to soft porn. When children are exposed to item songs or an algorithm that feeds into a curious child’s mind, it inevitably distorts their understanding of sex and relationships, which are subjects already considered taboo for parents. This leaves kids to learn from the media that glamorises provocation rather than responsibility.
Furthermore, there are more than hundreds of item songs on YouTube which are easily available in any region and are packed with deliberately provocative images being marketed to target men’s lust to sell a product; it is also soft porn normalised as entertainment. Other than that, platforms like Instagram and TikTok further exacerbate the problem; the more vulgar content you watch, the more the algorithm leads you to sites and pages that provide uncensored content for its viewers, not only breaking down the barriers enforced but also creating a smooth pathway from soft porn to active consumption of explicit content.
The second issue is the relentless displacement of blame towards women. It is possible that the way we report crimes actually shields the one committing it. Whenever a rape case is reported, the narrative almost always pivots away from the perpetrator and onto the victim.
Major news outlets reinforce this distortion with headlines like “ Pakistan: 18-year-old Aisha gets raped repeatedly, becomes pregnant, dies after botched operation to abort her child” or “Gujarat horror: PG girl raped on terrace; guard arrested”. Such framing drags attention towards the suffering of the victim, sensationalising it while muting accountability of the abuser. This also reduces the abuse to a spectacle rather than centring the crime, which is why many parents choose silence, fearing the marriageability of the girl a decade later than demanding justice in the present. In cases where the abused is too young to fend for herself, the blame finds its way to the parent for not caring for her properly or leaving her in the hands of trusted people rather than blaming the perpetrator for his actions, where it really belongs.
Men’s inability to call out their own friends is the third issue. While some women muster up the courage to step up and confront the catcaller, most men choose to stay silent. Such men are under a constant illusion of being better than their friends simply for not engaging in direct harassment themselves, but in fact, the act of allowing such stuff to happen in their presence or laughing at obscene jokes that they would not tolerate being said about their own family members is hypocrisy at its core.
By turning a blind eye to these behaviours and letting them go unchecked, they are being complicit in sustaining the very culture that they claim to reject. Additionally, most men remain unaware of the circumstances that their sisters have to go through daily: from being stalked at university, being subjected to double-meaning jokes in the workplace or getting inappropriate texts from teachers in school or, most commonly, being seen as an object while roaming the streets even in broad daylight.
Most mothers exclude sons from these conversations mainly to avoid alarming them, which leaves them oblivious to the pervasive harassment surrounding women. When confronted with the question of what they would do if their sister were catcalled, many answer with misplaced pride, saying their sister would never be found in such a situation, when in fact it is quite the opposite. Compounding this silence are entrenched double standards.
A woman who is raped will always be subjected to shame and embarrassment while the perp moves through the world with ease. Similarly, when a man is abused, it is taken very lightly or quickly turned into a joke, even though it is as much a reason for concern as any other case that surfaces.
This shame surrounding sex, relationships and the “dignity” of women is also the very reason that many men rape women as an act of revenge or a means to suppress their freedom. They know they won’t face any consequences, especially in the most common scenario, where the women remain silent. This silence acts as their shield, allowing violence to masquerade as power. By weaponising shame and silence, perpetrators exploit the fear of exposure, ensuring the survivors carry the burden while they don’t have to. Letting such people roam free only adds to their confidence, making another case inevitable.
If rape culture is sustained by silence, then dismantling it requires a society that refuses to stay quiet. The foremost responsibility should be instilling moral education in men, not by prohibiting the natural course of puberty but by teaching them how to control their lust and respect women, fostering good relationships further down the road as well. Similarly, they should be taught to speak up against anything that demeans or objectifies others, and to stand up for themselves on the spot without embarrassment. The “good mood” of a party is not ruined when the people present uphold the same values of humanity.
Secondly, the death penalty should be enforced for criminals convicted of rape with strict and swift action. Every charge and accusation, regardless of gender, must be taken seriously, which also reduces the stigma of reporting. Additionally, Children should be restricted from using the usage of internet until absolutely necessary, while big media companies should have a strict ban on objectifying women, ultimately growing past that as a society. Finally, the shame around sex and relationships should be addressed openly in this fast-paced world to avoid situations that are worse than talking about something. Until we strip shame from survivors and place it squarely on perpetrators, rape culture will remain the unspoken law of our society.