Mr Rupee, Pakistan’s Prime minister and long suffering representative of purchasing power recently attended a forum hoping to improve his international reputation where an incident occurred where he was wrongfully given a standing ovation. Another reason for all the public scrutiny he has been under is his relationship and all the incidents taking place that have placed him under an unfavourable light
Reports state that when mistaken for the renowned Indian Prime Minister, Ma’am Rupee Khoka (Rupay for short) at the Global Currency summit meeting, Our Head of government instead of feeling embarrassed or disrespected like the majority populous of Pakistan when misconstrued as our “Separated at Partition” counterparts, felt esteemed.
The local newspaper quoted him saying “I haven’t felt this respected since 1947, it felt nice to be mistaken as somebody whose exchange rate people don’t immediately apologize for” and later he added “Naturally i didn’t correct them, though I’m sure the feeling wasn’t mutual”
I suppose we ought to be grateful, now we have two reasons to be unanimously voted for as the laughing stock of the meeting, our nonexistent economic leverage combatted with our desperation, and our Prime minister’s lack of national pride.
Maybe the reason for Mr Rupee’s constant public outbursts is his estranged relationship with the IMF, a local celeb, if you will. A true fiscal fiasco, one for the times. Political analysts have declared the relationship “unsustainable” marking the nineteenth consecutive year they have reached this decision. This international crisis may just be more entertaining than the new season of Desi Bling, it has divided the nation. The reason for their “On-again off-again” fundship is unclear, but of course our awam of gossipmongers have reached their consensus.
Allegedly, the IMF has carried the relationship financially for years, paying for dates, transportation, and the occasional balance-of-payments crisis. She has stated on multiple accounts that she doesn’t care about money, but witnesses have seen her hold Mr Rupee accountable for every cent ever spent, with her accountants on speed dial. Can’t argue with balance sheets. The IMF reportedly spent years trying to get Mr Rupee to get his life together, only to see him purchase another unsustainable development project, on her dime of course.
After her viral Pakistan Today Showbiz interview which was said to have marked the end of their decades long partnership, she said some strong words that shaped the way history would remember them. “I gave him structure, stability, and seventeen recovery plans as well as my prime childbearing years” she IMFamously said “What more does he want?” Eyes were opened and as a last resort on Mr Rupee’s end, so were wallets. He said that there would be reforms to make amends, us citizens were surprised to find out they were included as well. Economists have apparently discovered that “small sacrifices” mean larger tax bills. Also, the public would have been happy if the nation’s favourite couple had brought forth a child but now “The Bailout Package” will never draw its first breath. She was also said to have had trust issues due to Mr Rupee’s incessant need to fall short, insiders report that he defaulted on multiple promises, three reform plans and one very special anniversary dinner, I can see why she left him.
Many attempts were made to reconcile, couple’s counseling was tried out, but to no avail. Even the World Bank can’t fund budget cuts that run this steep, however deep its pockets may be. Mr Rupee has reportedly begun therapy to fuel an economic turnaround with a team of financial advisors that work for an internationally recognised credit rating company, international being the keyword that hooked him, who diagnosed him with chronic overspending, commitment issues, and an inferiority complex.