Freedom, sounding off as the greatest human achievement — to do whatever you want, however you’d like, without any sort of external authority interfering. External authority doesn’t always refer to ‘a physical power,’ but sometimes, and most of the time, it’s an emotional factor, i.e., the need for validation.
Arthur Schopenhauer once said, “A man can be himself only so long as he is alone.” At first glance, both freedom and loneliness seem like two orthogonal concepts. But the more profound question arises, “Can we actually feel free in the presence of people?”
Now, there are two scenarios of why freedom will lead to being alone. The first one highlights ‘Why would you isolate yourself from others?’ and the other one highlights ‘Others isolating themselves from you.’
We Choose How To Be Displayed
Ask yourself this question: “Can I actually act the same way around people as I do when alone?” No matter how independent you become, you will always be trying and getting anxious over how everyone sees you — that’s completely normal. The fear of judgement is real — getting judged is universal.
Now, take this scenario as an example. There’s a girl eating with her friends at the cafeteria. She will constantly judge her eating style — even when nobody even notices the way she’s eating. Yet here she is, getting overwhelmed over nothing.
Therefore, she will eventually start eating alone — not because someone told her to, but simply because she wants to enjoy the meal. That’s a sign of low confidence and itself is a mental illness which needs to be worked upon.
People Distancing Themselves From You
Now, if you’ve reached enough emotional maturity, you will no longer care about how people perceive you. Around others, you’ll act unbothered — more like yourself. But it’s human nature that we don’t like being around such people. That’s the truth. We prefer people who are more robotic but human enough to crack some jokes — or comfort you when sad. Otherwise, most of the people will distance themselves from individuals who are not concerned about others being uncomfortable with their acts because let’s be honest, that isn’t socially acceptable as well.
Other than that, when you freely make a decision, it could most likely be against other peoples’ beliefs.
So, eventually, we’ll lose our patience and isolate ourselves from such people.
This is the case when people will distance themselves from you when you’ve reached the threshold of freedom.
Is It Possible To Be Free And Still Not Alone?
Though the chances are relatively low, once you’ve the right mindset and the right people, you can achieve both freedom and companionship. This can be fully understood by Paulo Coelho’s statement, “Freedom is not the absence of commitments but the ability to choose — and commit myself to — what is best for me.”
There’s a case in which you’ve reached emotional maturity, your emotions are independent of external validation and you’ve met the right people — accepting you as you are. In this condition, ‘Loneliness is the price we pay for freedom’ is not applicable.
Apart from this possibility, it is nearly impossible to achieve freedom without being left alone.