Wangari Maathai, the late Kenyan Nobel Peace Prize laureate, once said, “The higher you go, the fewer women there are.” People often say that success brings peace and prosperity; however, for women, the standards are often different. Even in the 21st century, the gender disparity has not yet been resolved. After reaching the threshold of success, they must endure a prolonged series of challenges. ‘Life is not a bed of roses’ and ‘work with patience’ are some typical dialogues that constantly ring in our ears when endeavouring for success. But nobody says it out loud that they will make life a bed of thorns for women who dare to become something. Alas! Success does not taste the same for everyone, and a few of us have to pay a price for it.
When are you getting married? A question frequently asked by other women to centralise someone who is trying to settle in her life first is trying to make her feel guilty for being left behind. She may have achieved her career goals, but people make it look unnecessary and almost like nothing until and unless she has secured a husband. Despite the modern advancement and societal progress, a woman burning the midnight oil for her career is locked down upon. The terms such as ‘passionate,’ ‘career-orientated,’ and ‘courageous’ are only praised when connected with men. Therefore, turn the tables, and people will mock a resilient, career-orientated woman by saying that she is wasting her energy in the wrong place for unfit priorities. A successful woman is not appreciated in our society the way she deserves because no one bothers to count her hardships and sacrifices and never cares about her circumstances. All they have to offer is a marriage proposal for her, ignoring the fact that she did not work so hard to focus on ‘gol roti’ only.
In addition, one sacrifices so many things to pay attention and invest in a single thing. God knows how many friends’ and family’s get-togethers she had to miss to give time to her work and to herself to become someone she has always aspired to be. But later on, she is expected to justify her choices and decisions for living her life this way. Why is it that a woman is not supported when it comes to her passion for work? This is something we see in ‘The Devil Wears Prada’, where Miranda Priestly is someone who has ‘made it’ and Andy is trying to climb the corporate ladder but silently suffers within her relationship and slowly loses her balance in her personal life as things are never the same for everyone. Despite holding on to the topmost position in the fashion industry, Miranda is seen as a cold and authoritative person instead of powerful and disciplined. Furthermore, a glimpse of her deteriorating marriage is also shown when she is in Paris. All these things show how society puts limitations on a woman’s sphere, whether you have your life or a family.
According to the World Economic Forum, women are close to half of entry-level employees, but their representation drops sharply at higher positions, creating what researchers call the “drop to the top.” Sometimes even in the workplace women are not appreciated for their dedication and hard work and innovative ideas simply because society cannot accept that they can be better than men who are often considered more suitable for a corporate job. There is a sense of rejection they have to face from all the directions which leaves them burdened with guilt. All this for what? A woman in a suit is not considered family-orientated because she is not holding a rolling pin in her hands but rather the hope for a better future. First she strives to get to a point she desires to, and then due to family and societal pressure, she is compelled to leave her position in order to settle down with a man.
A bitter reality is that no one ever rises to clap the loudest for a woman for her success. If she takes a step to fulfil her dreams, she knows she is going to face it alone, and it is okay to think of oneself before people who neither care about one’s well-being nor offer support. A woman is seen as an entity born to think about everyone but herself, and when she prioritises her life even slightly, she is simply labelled as a rebel. All these factors are leading causes of depression and anxiety among women, suppressing their identity.