Why Did I Write it Down

By Joan Didion

Jarida Editorial

Why did I write it down?
In order to remember. Of course,
but exactly what was it
I wanted to remember?

How much of it actually
happened?
Did any of it?
Why do I keep a notebook at all?

Although I have felt compelled
to write these things down
since I was five years old,
I doubt

that my daughter
ever will,
for she is a singularly blessed
and accepting child

delighted with life
exactly as life presents itself to her
unafraid to sleep
and unafraid to wake up.

Keepers of private notebooks
are a different breed altogether
lonely and hesitant
rearrangers of things

anxious malcontents
children afflicted
apparently at birth
with some presentiment of loss.

 

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