Struggle of Women in Desi Households: From generation and generation, women in desi households have been taught one thing: endure all, but never express. From the moment a girl is born, everyone — except herself — writes her story. Her parents cage her in the name of religion or protecting their pride and honor in society. She’s taught speaking up is being disobedient, sacrifices are her strength, and carrying the weight of others’ expectations is compassion. Any desire to be free is labelled as bringing disgrace to her family and being rebellious. She’s expected to bear the pain of all stones thrown her way with a soft smile and stay quiet.
Struggle of Women in Desi Households
She’s allowed to dream, to desire — but the moment she wants to chase those dreams, she’s hit with the question “What will the people say?” Once again, she lets go of what she wants, because in countries like Pakistan, people are more important than the will of doing something, of being something.
And if being caged all through her childhood and teens isn’t enough, she’s married off — not for love (because how dare she fall in love) — but rather as a transaction of respect and status. Her new home becomes another battlefield, and she has to prove her worth daily through silence, service, and sacrifice.
In-Laws as Judges, Not Family
Her in-laws, rather than being family, become her judges. They keep an eye on everything she does, and one wrong move turns into lifelong taunts. Her opinions are dismissed because she’s seen as an outsider, and her roles are reduced to being a wife, daughter-in-law, and mother — everything but herself.
I’ve seen the smartest women — with dreams, ambitions, and sparks in their eyes — become nothing but someone’s wife. Women who could’ve been something, who had the power to bring change and build empires, are reduced to cooking dinners and seeking validation from people who continue to take them for granted.
The Urgent Call for Change
So with frustration, I ask: How many women are we going to lose before we finally make a change? Before we realize a woman’s worth is not restricted to the sacrifices she makes and all the dreams she’s forced to let go?
When will we stop carrying the weight of expectations set by our families and start to live for ourselves? This cycle needs to end now — or it may never end at all.
A Woman’s Worth Is Her Own
We need to raise our voices to make people realize: we are our own person, and we are enough the way we are. We don’t need to kill ourselves from the inside to matter. We will chase our dreams as far as we can — and be free.
