Gilmore Girls is an American TV show created by Amy Sherman-Palladino. It’s a dramedy portraying the close, fast-talking, fun relationship between a single mother, Lorelai Gilmore, and her daughter, Rory.
Though the show is very popular in America, its influence has crossed borders into Muslim majority countries as well, such as Pakistan. Its unique themes of humour, friendship and family make it a lighthearted watch, especially for Muslim girls who see parts of themselves in its characters.
Rory is shown as a studious, book-loving girl who prioritises her academics above everything else. She turns down plans with friends and even family if she has homework. She is known for finishing all her homework by Saturday night so she can do extra work on Sunday. Her dedication is especially evident in a scene where Lorelai asks her to go to sleep, saying, “Sleep is what keeps you pretty,” to which Rory responds, “Who cares if I’m pretty if I fail my finals?”
Most girls in countries like Pakistan and the Arab countries are denied the right to education. The small percentage of ‘privileged’ girls who get the opportunity to study strive to take their academics very seriously, like Rory. Those who have reading as a hobby use it as an escape from the darkness in their society. These girls use Rory as an example that their appearances or getting married early are not their life’s purpose, and realise how important education is.
Gilmore Girls
For the girls who are referred to as “the nerd”, who read books during wedding functions, or obsess over grades while others are preparing dowries, Rory’s character feels like a reflection of themselves.
The second most dominant theme is the strong mother-daughter relationship dynamic. Lorelai is portrayed as a single teenage mother who walked away from her wealthy parents and built a life from scratch for her and Rory; starting as a maid at an inn and slowly working her way up to manager. She raised her alone and gave her a beautiful life. Her journey acts as a motivation for all single mothers in Muslim countries who are told they are nothing without the support of a man. In cultures where single motherhood is considered a stigma and frowned upon, Lorelai’s independence is especially empowering. Pakistani and Arab girls who grow up with single mothers often face judgment.
For them, watching Lorelai thrive without a husband, while raising a smart and independent daughter, offers a powerful counter-narrative. Moreover, both Rory and Lorelai have a unique and strong mother-daughter bond where Lorelai acts as both her best friend, so Rory feels comfortable enough sharing secrets with her and enjoys hanging out with her, but also as a mother when she needs to provide for her and protect her. In households where they may not feel fully seen or heard by others, mothers often become their daughters’ safe space, their shield, and someone whom they can confide in.
One of the most iconic traits shared by both Rory and Lorelai is speed talking, a talking style that is very bold, witty and filled with sarcasm. Whether Lorelai is bantering with Luke for more coffee or clashing with her mother Emily, she never holds back. She says exactly what she’s thinking. In many South Asian or Arab cultures, girls are taught to be polite and quiet. If they even dare to speak a sentence or, God forbid, express their opinion, they are told “Zyada bolti ho”. Speaking too fast, too much, or too confidently is often discouraged. Lorelai and Rory’s speed talking represents freedom of thought and tongue, the ability to say what you want, when you want, without fear.
Apart from the central themes, Gilmore Girls also has minor subplots or scenes that Muslim girls resonate with. One of those is Rory’s relationship with failure. Despite being the ‘perfect’ student, Rory often faces failure in class tests and toxic competition at school, which shows that she’s not always perfect, and that’s okay. Pakistani and Arab girls often grow up with huge expectations from their family of getting the top grades and having perfect behaviour with no room for mistakes. Watching Rory fall apart and come back can be healing. It shows you’re allowed to mess up and still recover. In Pakistani households where academic success is often tied to family honour, that kind of ‘failure’ feels like the end of the world. Rory’s journey shows that the academic path comes with ups and downs, but her mother loved and supported her unconditionally, and Rory always worked her way back up.
Rory and Lorelai are also made to attend Friday night dinners with the grandparents, which are mostly awkward interactions with tensions between Lorelai and her parents. The grandparents want to have a say in Rory’s life, dictating and judging where she studies and who she dates. They want her to act like the perfect granddaughter who fits in their society.
Pakistani girls face this in the form of family dawats, where the aunties are constantly judging them, making comments about their weight and skin colour. Those relatives think they have a say in girls’ lives. They also come with huge family expectations and the pressure to protect the family’s honour by becoming a doctor or engineer. There’s a constant pressure to become the perfect daughter, granddaughter and niece. Pakistani girls are told that if they don’t act a certain way or get a certain degree, they won’t get married, as if that is life’s whole purpose.
Rory’s best friend Lane is a Korean American teenager raised by a very religious and strict mother who expects her to only study and attend church and not wear any makeup, modern clothes or be friends with boys. But as the saying goes, strict parents don’t raise good kids; they raise good liars. As a result, Lane is forced to live a double life due to her mother’s restrictions.
She has to lie to her mother as she wants to pursue music and even has a boyfriend. She does all of this in hiding. For many Muslim girls, especially those from Pakistani and Arab households, Lane’s story is not just a subplot; It’s a mirror. Society’s strict cultural and religious expectations create an impossible dilemma: You can be a good daughter or an honest one, but never both at the same time. So, they hide jeans and T-shirts at the back of their closets, sneak around to hang out with friends and write secret journal entries about crushes they could never confess aloud. Like Lane, they become masters of their double life, constantly switching between who they are and who they’re expected to be.
In the end, Gilmore Girls is more than just a cosy American TV show; it’s a life story for many Muslim girls trying to survive their society’s expectations of culture, identity, and womanhood.
