Depression wears many faces, but when it comes to males, it is often hidden behind a mask. Generally, men are less likely to seek help for mental health issues, despite the symptoms being severe. This condition is known as toxic masculinity. They show themselves as strong, stoic and unemotional, which often leads to misinterpretation, underdiagnosis and constant pain that might lead to tragic consequences.
The classic image of depression suggests that it is all about sadness, crying, and withdrawal. However, male depression often manifests in ways that are contradictory and less obvious. Men are most likely to express their emotions and distress through anger, irritability, aggression, or risky behaviours. And now, instead of saying that I feel hopeless, a man might lash out, isolate himself or immerse himself in work or distractions. This phenomenon results not only from biological emotional dysregulation but also from deep-rooted cultural conditioning.
In a country like Pakistan, where everyone is under constant scrutiny, regardless of their gender, social expectations do intensify the silence. From an early age, boys are taught to man up and suppress their emotions. Any display of tears, tantrums or distress might be seen as shameful, and seeking mental health help might be perceived as a moral or spiritual failing. So in order to find an outlet, they might turn towards substance abuse. And these ways of escapism might not only worsen their mental health but also strain relationships and financial stability, creating a constant vicious cycle.
The emotional disconnection that comes along with male depression often leads to broken relationships, reduced productivity, and, in extreme cases, suicidal ideation. Studies suggest that globally, there has been an alarming increase in suicide rates in men as compared to women, and it is not only because of depression but also because of their not seeking help.
And in societies like Pakistan, suicide rates remain higher because they are stigmatised and often silenced by cultural taboos, which might lead to a lot of cases going unreported. When decoding the male depression symptoms, it does require moving beyond stereotypes. Anger is resentment. Excessive control is not a sign of strength. However, both anger and excessive control can signal internal turmoil.
These problems can be addressed by encouraging open conversations, normalising therapy, and also integrating mental health discussions into the workplace and schools. In Pakistan, religious and community leaders often have a higher moral authority. They can also play a powerful role in shifting these attitudes by promoting compassion and understanding over judgment.
In essence, the male experience of depression is not invisible. It is often misunderstood that recognising men may cry through silence or shout in anguish and plead through withdrawals does allow us to see the struggle behind their composure. Breaking the stigma begins with empathy, and reminding every man seeking help that it is not a sign of weakness but is an act of courage.