Humaira Asghar is a name that is being called out in every household. She is in everyone’s mind—for some, in prayers; for the rest, in insufferable words. The problem is not this, though; the real question is that why do we have nothing but words for her, and that too once those words are no longer needed? Why are we so busy, so occupied in our lives, that nothing but death or severe tragedy can shake us?
Humaira Asghar, an influencer and media personality known and admired by hundreds—maybe criticised by a few—was reportedly left alone for almost an entire year after her death. This is the reality of our society today: no one cares; no one will come after you if you go missing, even if you are known by thousands. This is the reality of our capitalist world.
The death of Humaira Asghar is neither a normal death nor an isolated incident—and that is what is actually concerning. Her death shook us all because we realised there are so many people around us who might appear completely normal, yet are facing tremendous challenges in their lives. And we are so entangled in our own lives that we cannot do anything.
There are so many people we have not talked to for ages, in the name of “growing apart,” but this incident forces us to think of them, and check up on them.
The way Humaira died, or how she was found, cannot be considered the only tragic thing about her death. What breaks my heart even more is that even her parents were not there for her when the world turned a blind eye. And now, when the world can’t help but think of her, they are still indifferent towards their deceased daughter. The only takeaway from this, for me, is that this is the price of going after your dream for a girl in our society.
This is what happens when women choose themselves over society’s expectations. We are always told that our parents are the only ones who stay with us when the world betrays or abandons us, but in a desi household, that too comes with conditions. And for women especially, one of those conditions is to sacrifice your dreams, your desires, your individuality, and mold yourself into the perfect container of how a girl “should be.”
Victim blaming, pointing fingers at people, and never being able to forgive a woman for something she may or may not have done is a tradition we inherit, generation after generation.
Humaira Asghar’s cause of death is still not confirmed. However, our people have taken it upon themselves to personally figure out some outrageous reason for her passing because, God forbid, a woman can’t be buried peacefully without being given character titles.
You open the comment section of one post—which may be praying for her peace in the afterlife—and you will see that people have already decided on her eternal abode. Because, of course, God personally told our nation to do His job. Humanity, after all, is just so overrated.
This disgusts me—and it should disgust every sane mind. People are commenting on a post that says “May she rest in peace” that she will not rest in peace, because, of course, how dare a woman live on her own terms, without compromising for this society?
Comments like these make you understand the psyche of our society. We are so doomed that an emotion as simple as empathy can rarely be found within any of us. We cannot empathise with those around us—and neither can we empathise with those who have departed from this world.
Everything has become a chance to go viral for us. The fact that pictures of the deceased are circulating on the internet is simply inhumane. People smiling and taking pictures and videos with the corpse is, honestly, a moment of collective shame for us.
The time has long passed when we used to urge this society to be better than this. Now, we should request—in fact, ensure—through our authorities that these people are held accountable for this level of insensitivity. If PEMRA or PECA have the authority to ban dramas on actual societal issues, then they surely can remove such content from the web—and make sure it doesn’t get posted in the first place.
The truth is that all of us should feel guilty for what Humaira had to go through, before and after her death, because we have structured this society in a way that human life has completely lost its worth. Everyone is in some kind of race, running for—and running from—peace. And eventually, we carry this irony to our graves.
Although this piece comes from a place of deep hopelessness, anger, and resentment, I would still urge all of us to look around—break these cycles of endless greed, understand the value and essence of life, and then analyse whether the race we are running is worth our entire lives.
And to the parents of Humaira Asghar—and all parents out there—no honour, no dignity, and no societal respect can be above your child’s health, safety, or life. If you think it is the other way around, then kindly rethink the moment you decided to become a parent.
Check on your children. Check on your friends. Check on your siblings. Check on anyone around you whom you have access to—because who knows? A single word of positivity might save someone’s life.
And vice versa.
